The older I get, the more concerned about money I become. Being in a relationship adds an interesting twist to this issue. When both people in a relationship are concerned about their finances (in this modern world where men don't pay for everything anymore) paying for things becomes a lot more complicated. Bills get split in half, or one person promises to pay the other back somehow. It adds stress -- stress which some people might say is unavoidable today. Money governs our lives, even our love lives, and it's difficult to set it aside and focus on the more important things.
Things get particularly tricky once a couple gets married. A survey conducted by Citibank on divorce in the United States suggested that more than fifty percent of divorced couples cited money problems as the cause of their divorce. Furthermore, starting in 1980, socioeconomic status began to affect divorce rates: the rate of divorce among college graduates had by 2002 dropped to near 20%, roughly half that of non-college graduates.
Does this scare you? It scares me. Shouldn't love exist separately from the bonds of financial/economic status? Have we reached a point (or maybe we have always been at this point) where money is more important than love? I seriously hope not.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Friday, August 17, 2007
Wedding Bells
Is it just me, or is the wedding spirit EVERYWHERE this season? Everybody wants to get married in the summertime right? Hence, you get couples grappling for dates and locations, writing invitations, finding dresses, ordering decorationss (or is that just the bride and her family?). It's a particularly interesting time for those young unmarried persons who are invited to all of these weddings. And it's ESPECIALLY interesting when one of the people getting married is your sister.
Following her around last week from bridal salon to bridal salon, I was overwhelmed by everything. Looking for the perfect dress for the perfect price, trying on a gazillion dresses before rushing to the next place for more hurried dressing up. My sister and I have always been inseparable, so it was a bit of an emotional ride going through this with her. Seeing your older sister (who you scampered around, climbed trees, argued, and shared boy secrets with) attired in a white satin wedding gown is quite surreal...the whole thing really hits you.
It started making me think about my own future and potential marriage. I'm only 21, so I don't expect to hear wedding bells for quite sometime, but it's going to happen (and that's scary!). I found myself looking at my sister in the dresses and wondering how I would look in them. I started to put myself in her shoes...and it sort of played psychological tricks on me! I would look in the mirror and think, "I should lose weight so that I'll look perfect in my wedding dress," before realizing that I had years to worry about that. My sister would send me decorations, and I'd examine them as if they were for my own wedding. Then I started worrying about whether or not I'd be able to find the right person to marry at all. I'd look at my sister and her fiancee and feel jealous that she'd found THE ONE GUY and I hadn't. And then I reminded myself that I'm WAY too young to be worrying about these things. It was silly!
I talked to one of my friends whose sister is already married, and she relieved me by admitting to having experienced similar symptoms. "It just kind of happens..." she said, "You can't avoid it. It gets you thinking about your own life and relationships, and you get freaked out!" It felt good to know I wasn't the only one who'd felt this way. After awhile, the psychosis wore off, but the wedding invitations are still pouring in. It's weird to think that my friends might be getting invitations from me 5-10 years from now...
Following her around last week from bridal salon to bridal salon, I was overwhelmed by everything. Looking for the perfect dress for the perfect price, trying on a gazillion dresses before rushing to the next place for more hurried dressing up. My sister and I have always been inseparable, so it was a bit of an emotional ride going through this with her. Seeing your older sister (who you scampered around, climbed trees, argued, and shared boy secrets with) attired in a white satin wedding gown is quite surreal...the whole thing really hits you.
It started making me think about my own future and potential marriage. I'm only 21, so I don't expect to hear wedding bells for quite sometime, but it's going to happen (and that's scary!). I found myself looking at my sister in the dresses and wondering how I would look in them. I started to put myself in her shoes...and it sort of played psychological tricks on me! I would look in the mirror and think, "I should lose weight so that I'll look perfect in my wedding dress," before realizing that I had years to worry about that. My sister would send me decorations, and I'd examine them as if they were for my own wedding. Then I started worrying about whether or not I'd be able to find the right person to marry at all. I'd look at my sister and her fiancee and feel jealous that she'd found THE ONE GUY and I hadn't. And then I reminded myself that I'm WAY too young to be worrying about these things. It was silly!
I talked to one of my friends whose sister is already married, and she relieved me by admitting to having experienced similar symptoms. "It just kind of happens..." she said, "You can't avoid it. It gets you thinking about your own life and relationships, and you get freaked out!" It felt good to know I wasn't the only one who'd felt this way. After awhile, the psychosis wore off, but the wedding invitations are still pouring in. It's weird to think that my friends might be getting invitations from me 5-10 years from now...
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